typical morning

Get up, walk in search of coffee to the kitchen. Notice mom staring at her little red laptop next to the random monitor at the table. "Morning". Delayed response. Also a low-sounding version of "hi" comes from dad's nook. Slippered feet rest on his foot stool, legs supporting his laptop. But that's all I see around the book case. Hmm, coffee, cold, microwave. Hmm, banana, ripe. Sit on couch, read World article by osmosis till brain wakes up. 

Dad shows me Mark Steyn's pointed article likening Europe to an orchestra. Something about Greece and Italy playing cards in the dressing room waiting for the German guy to come and hand them a check. Apt. Mom, still sitting at the table, joins the discussion of Europe's downward spiral, complete with defining social states and demise of the life of work expectations. 

Slight switch to recap of recent family gathering. Background on how things have been shining light on how people are doing and slow changes to the power plays. Mom half typing and asking questions on who said what calling for much repetition and therefore dad and I smiling at each other. 

Next up, plans for weekend and coming week. Why yes, my birthday is coming up. And they both miraculously remembered what age I'm turning :P Dad heads out door to look at issues mom has raised about car. Both stop talking and stare at me. Looking at my feet, and then grabbing them, I wondered if I could walk like that. So I tried. It works, also probably looks hilarious. I crumpled up laughing and found both parents looking at me with that look of "yup, she is still a kid sometimes." I join dad to go look at car issues before he leaves to read at a coffee-shop. 

Re-enter house to find mom rushing around collecting her things before leaving for class. I hold the door, telling her to have fun learning, and get along with classmates, etc. She shoots back with a black look and how sexual deviancy is not her favorite class. 

I forgot to mention the smoking pan while we were talking.

And I sit down to write. Is this picture perfect? No. It is a family living with each other, not just in the same house. Somehow it works, all the quirks and frustrations laughed at. Unless I'm in a rush to leave, then I just get frustrated. Still need to learn something...

vancouver pics

https://picasaweb.google.com/103959679677428217376/2012Vancouver

sister trip to vancouver.

trip update

People have been asking when I am leaving again, and I haven’t really known what to say. Now I do, and here is the story. I not only travel on these trips as a travel companion, I plan them also. Which is a large job. I didn’t quite realize how much of a job it would be to plan a 2-3 month trip until I started. And when I realized, I found something else I could accomplish that day. And did the same thing the next day, and the next. I believe this is a form of procrastination.

Anyways, Shannon and I hadn’t talked in a few weeks. The idea being to give her time to get her back healthy again. Well, last week I was called over to help her for a few hours. Why? Because her back had gotten so much worse that she needs back surgery asap. So I guess it’s a good thing I hadn’t planned a big trip. Hence I am somewhat relieved to say I have no idea when we are leaving. Sometime after she recovers from her surgery we should leave again. I will keep you all updated. 

Leading and Following

“Who is the one doing it, you or God?” ...I hate that question. If it’s you, then God is practically out of the picture. If it’s God, then what are you doing, sitting on the couch? “Neither” doesn’t work, and “both” sounds like a copout. You know what? The Bible rarely speaks in the language of one or the other doing stuff. More often it speaks of God telling the characters to do something, and those people doing it, or sometimes doing it. So it’s both, right? Not exactly.

Ever been on a walk with a good friend in their neck of the woods? Walking side by side, conversing about anything, loosing track of where you are because you have no need of keeping track? They are, in a sense, leading you. They pick the trails, they know where they are, they know how far it is from the house. They may even guide you over muddy areas. Leading, but walking side by side, conversing without intentionally instructing. You become so intent on the conversation and learning about your friend, that you simply follow their lead without thinking. The trail is no longer important, it may even turn out to be different than you would have chosen. Congratulations, you have exhibited trust in your friend.

Now replace that friend with God, and the trails with your life. Aha. That is why the Bible stresses focusing on God. Focus on Him, let Him lead, and it will be an amazing walk. Amazing does not mean lush grass…

Vulnerability

Confronted with pictures of classrooms, I realized that kids are vulnerable, impressionable, trusting, and often the happiest they will ever be. Soon they will grow up and learn, becoming smart and watchful for others trying to screw them over. No longer simple and naïve, which is the point, the goal. And as grown-ups they will spend most of their time trying to find the joy again in life. Something very important disappears from them, something that allows them to experience the childlike glee of living. What is it?

I begin to think that vulnerability is the key. It’s also a very dangerous state of being. To be vulnerable means someone can hurt you, but only because you open up your heart to feel; to actually feel the joy of living. But as a life-hardened adult, you wonder if the danger is worth it. Or you don’t even entertain the thought. Avoid pain – duh. And even if your brain does decide that it’s worth it, your heart may go on strike regardless. Becoming vulnerable again is possibly the hardest thing. It’s totally counter-intuitive for an adult, and yet utterly necessary to live fully.

So the question becomes, where is a safe place/situation to be vulnerable? Because wandering around completely vulnerable is plain stupid. There are humans out there after all. So where and when is it good? I only know of only a few places that vulnerability is advised and even called for, the primary one being within a relationship with God. Which sounds crazy, till you experience it. And once you do, it’s still hard to return. It is the hardest part of being a Christian. It is also the best part and the whole point of being a Christian. The definition of a Christian is one who follows Christ; one who lives in a close enough relationship to Christ to know His leading and be trusting enough to agree and follow it. The key to this is childlike vulnerability towards God.

Hence the worldly wisdom does not understand Christianity and considers it foolishness and stupid. Other religions differ from Christianity in that there is something to do or achieve. The adult says, aha, I can do this. Christianity says give up and just trust God to take care of you. Trust, and be vulnerable. And it’s the hardest thing to do. And it sounds stupid. But is it? Is it foolish to live with your heart truly alive and receiving the joy of a child? 

pics

new photos, and i got the slideshow working, but only for the older panama photos. click this link for new ones. https://picasaweb.google.com/103959679677428217376/Panama2

the ride home.

Our driver arrived before our luggage made it out of the room. For once, not my fault. I prefer to laugh inwardly when I see hotel management making frantic hand signals at lethargic workers. Shannon had chosen to sit by the bird feeder while waiting for our transport to the airport. A rather wise decision considering our hectic flight back. Our driver person pointed out the sloth in the parking lot. We could barely see him thru the foliage, but I think I got a good picture or two. I have always wanted to see a sloth, to see the animal whose innate nature we are not to imitate.

The same wheelchair attendant who had given us VIP treatment on the way into panama met us as the ticket counter. I looked straight at him and told him how happy I was to see him. We had an extra bag at this point, not including the mask carefully wrapped up and held by Shannon. The coffee and cinnabon eaten at the gate is probably the last of the vacation. I had thrown away my sneakers which had decided to rot instead of dry so I was in sandals. I did manage to buy rum at the duty free store. I like rum. On an amusing note, it later took a friend and I 30 mins to figure out how to get the rum out of the bottle. The key is turning it completely upside-down and shaking slightly. I have never had to work so hard for my drink.

In Houston, we had 1 hour to get on our next flight. This included getting our bags, going thru customs, dropping them off again, and going thru security. If you need a wheelchair, do not ever fly thru Houston. The airport has 4 dif wheelchair companies each with their own section of your travel and each not allowed to overstep onto another’s territory. Completely retarded way to run this sort of service. We just made the second flight. The one helpful attendant asked us what the hardest part of international traveling was, the food, the traffic, what? My response – US security, hands down.

My parents met us at the airport. So good to see them again, esp. after the return flight. Oh, and the airline had lost Shannon’s broken walker by the time we arrived in seattle. Oi. Home, finally, at 11:30 at night, we got home. And just in time for Christmas rush. Yay…